To Papa, with love.

"rishvat dena to khud papa ne sikhaya"- the lines from 3 idiots which resonate the minds of my confused generation, and in that, when I talk about ethics, morals and principles, people around think I am either from pre-historic age, or having an agenda to start a new fast like Baba or Anna. "you dont understand Meenal, it is all very good in books, but in this age, you have to be practical"- they tell me. Practical- thats precisely what I am, cause probably they havent met any person who walks his talk or has survived the vagaries of this society following his beliefs.

I have. And I have seen him with his struggle all my life- every single day... My Dad, my Hero- he has lived his life on his principles, braving all the pressures- big and small. He taught both his kids to "Do something about it" if we believe in something, and not listen to anyone who says "thoda to compromise karna padta hai na, itna to chalta hai na". He taught us to have a heart big enough to feel others' suffering, but at the same time, never to be a fool and be angry when we should.

He is one person who showed me the real meaning of "One life, make it large". Ofcourse there were hard times- the toughest ones probably when he had to choose between his family and his principles. Ofcourse he chose the latter, and ofcourse, we love him for that.

And ofcourse there are ideological differences betwen us- he is of Gandhian school of thought, I am, well, (lets leave it at that). And we often have arguments. I am not quite sure if he even agrees about this way of showing my affection to him, on a public forum. But if there is one learning which he has grilled in my mind forever- is to follow what you believe in, and not care about anyone who fails to prove otherwise :)

We love you papa- and because of you, both of your kids dont need any other "idol" to follow.
Wish you a very happy fathers day.
And I hope you read this

Dream a little dream

Do you remember your dreams when you wake up? In case you do, do you have a recurring dream- one which is associated with a particular instance of your past, and now keeps coming back, and you feel so helplessly trapped in that figment of time that even if you know that it is just a dream, you are not able to come out of it…

I keep getting such a dream- and it sounds silly to say that I keep dreaming of my time in college- that I have bunked quite many classes, and now am frantically trying to remember what to write in the C++ exam paper…  and almost always, the dream ends with my roommate scolding me on why I keep neglecting my studies and how it will affect my placements (!!)…

Needless to say, it is scary and when I wake up, I am all drenched in sweat and glad to have woken up- it feels so real- the fright, the tension, and Priyanka’s scoldings…

When I talked to my husband about it, he told me he gets similar dreams(though he doesn’t remember much of his dreams) of the time when he was in 4^th std. My Mom gets dreams of her 10^th std Math paper! Just to imagine- she, well settled in her life with her kids all grown up, and she keeps waking up from Math scares from her past!

It is like a part of our soul is still stuck in that time wrap, and comes to haunt us when we are in our deepest slumber… Or like they say in horror movies- there is still something left undone at that time, and will linger on till it is led to completion… but how?

The kiddie and the spider in heaven

He (a 2yr-something kid): Mom!! Mommy!! look- a spider!!
Mom: hold on, I've got it
He- amazed at the speed at which Mom fetches a slipper and manages to hit the spider, which, by now, is all curled up, waiting to die
He: Mummy, now what will happen to this thing?
Mom: beta, it'll now go to the house of God
He(still staring intently at the creature): But how will she go? you've broken all its legs, how will it walk till there now?

There is this small incident which is associated with my brother's childhood that makes me wonder - how vivid the imagination of kids could be...

Ram - Lila?

Remember the times when we were small kids, and once in a while, we would hear about some "interesting" stuff happening at the nearby "Ramlila maidan"(huge grounds)- wherein we would get to see "Gods" dancing and entertaining in funny attires, and we would clap, howl, sing and finally go back home feeling we had salvaged our lives by watching "Gods" live!

Now, we hear similar stuff- of Yoga gurus dressed up in funny female attires, promising you salvage from the evil-doers in your government,  you hear him, clap, pray, and think someone has finally come to rescue you...

But frankly, my dear, I dont give a damn... am tired of people promising dramatic changes in the rampant corruption in the largest democracy that my coutry has.

Baba, I do believe that you can salvage this over-weight country with your yoga-tactics. But corruption, politics, conspiracies? you have a non-believer in me...

War of sexes? Nonsense

Disclaimer: This write-up does not take up responsibility to convince those feminists who want to debate on the topic just for the sake of debating. The writer is open for any constructive CnC.

Somehow, I just cannot relate to the debate of women Vs men, despite being a woman. Before proceeding further, let me clarify- I strongly support the cause of “Women EMPOWERMENT”, and my blood boils when I see atrocities against women. Empowerment means to be able to resist subjugation, and to improve upon one’s capabilities. That doesn’t mean being a lion you want to be an elephant. And I don’t understand why this should lead to a perennial “COMPETITION” between men and women.

When I was in school, we girls used to fight with boys a lot. “All guys are spoilt” and “All girls are dumb”- who would not relate with these slogans in their school life? But that was it. We all grow up and we do realize that we (men and women) are in fact made differently. And nature is not dumb. Everything happens for a purpose. And there is a purpose behind not making man and woman alike. Again I repeat, it is not that women are weak or are inferior, just that the two sexes are made to complement each other, not to compete.

 IMO there are certain areas of responsibilities which are specific to women folk, and the same goes with men. Even in animal kingdom, you’ll find specific AOR among sexes. The lioness goes for hunting, while the lion takes care of the cub (source: wiki).

In humans, parenting, hospitality, nursing- these areas are where women can do fabulous job. I always felt weird when I saw guys in place of the smiling face of an airhostess. Likewise I always felt weird when I saw a lady truck-driver for instance (no, not because women are considered horrible drivers, but because it is way too strenuous for them).  Apart from these exclusive roles, there are other areas where man and woman can take up responsibilities equally well, the software field for instance.

So why can’t we accept this fact that we(both men and women) are made differently, and feel proud about it, instead of trying to become something which nature hasn’t made us? We girls want to BE like boys, want to LIVE like boys, and love to be even CALLED tom-boyish. One 12-year old girl I know of still talks like “khaunga, aunga, baithunga, jaunga” etc. (sorry to non-Hindi speaking people), because her parents wanted to bring her up like a “guy”. I shudder at the thought of what effect it is going to have on her psyche once she realizes she’s a woman. Doing that just reflects how insecure we are with our own identity. I would never want my daughter (if I have one) to be brought up like a guy. I would make sure she feels proud in being the most beautiful specie on Earth while realizing that she is not inferior to anyone else. We’ll be much more at peace if we just comprehend our capabilities and the power (may not be physical one) nature has bestowed on us. Being otherwise would just disrupt the balance-nature or our own.

Let peace and sense prevail

Caste no bar

 >> Disclaimer: This post doesnt necessarily depict real people and true incidents. No offence intended to any community, or any person<<

Me: But they’ll be happy with only a Brahmin guy Uncle L that too a Marwadi Brahmin.

Him: But why Beta?

Me: Why “Why” Uncle? The same old boring talks of “We-the Brahmins”, and “You- the obedient, cultured daughter of the family” stuff.

Him: No, I meant, why are they searching for a “Brahmin”  guy for a “Shudra”  girl?

Me(Baffled): A “Shudra”?? ME? How?

Him: Well, As you must be aware, the entire caste system is based on one’s area of work. And you Software guys do, what? provide “Services”?

Me: Hmmm…

Him: So, you fall under the category of “skilled workers”. That makes you a “Shudra”, technically

Me(shocked): Oopsie! That’s a twist in my life! My dad works in a bank, so by birth, I am a “Vaish”, the business-class people. But I do not exactly do the work of an SE, rather, teach. Even my department name is “Education and Research”! So that means… I am still a BRAHMIN!

One of my friend working on cyber security project:  And so I become a “Kshatriya”! The fighters!

Now this is something interesting. Waiting to tell it to my Grandmom :D and see her reactions to it J

Whats in a name

>> A series of older posts from my intra-infy blog<<

What is there in a name- this sparked an unexpected reaction in me when I got a comment like this for my last blog. Whoever said this (I heard Shakespeare, but then I also heard that Shakespeare’s works were not original, they were of one of his friends), had probably never imagined the importance of a name in a person’s life. Ask this to a guy who is named “Tappu” by his parents. Or worse, “Pinky”.  Or Chandeler(“That spells something like a chandelier, but its not that”(from FRIENDS). Or those names which are so difficult to pronounce or spell that the kid with those names would dread being asked his name in his initial years.. like “Kushagra” or “Dhritharashtra”(from Mahabharata. What exactly were his parents thinking?) or Phoebe(again, no-fans of FRIENDS please excuse). Or those people who have such common names that they have to prefix it with numbers or other crazy things to distinguish themselves ( like Rahul. In my class, there were 6 Rahuls, and we identified them as Rahul01, tall Rahul, Mokkai Rahul,  Divya’s Rahul and so on). Or they give them names which have such crazy meaning that either they pretend they don’t know, or give it some twisted meaning of their own (Like my name- “Meenal”. It means “fish like”, which, on looking closely, also means “fishy”). I remember one of my non-Hindi speaking friend asking me “that new girl downstairs, her name is Payal. What does that mean?” to which I promptly replied “It means anklet”. She gave me a look which I can never forget “why would someone name a person ‘anklet’??”.. . I was speechless.

Or the Bard never imagined the state of a girl