Bharat Matrimony

One fine morning, Mummy dog told Papa dog in a very serious tone

Mummy Dog: Suniye ji, our daughter “Puppy dog” has come of age… and you don’t have any consideration. What kind of father are you…

Papa Dog: ...

Mummy dog: All my friends keep telling me… seems our daughter is having a fling with that dirty road-side romeo “Rodeo”. Its high time we do something, before situation goes out of hand.

Papa Dog: …

Mummy Dog (visibly irritated): What is this? I am telling you one grave issue and you don’t even care to reply? What kind of father are you? if something happens tomorrow, what face will we show to the world? You are a father. Your life’s purpose is to get your daughter settled.

Papa dog: Honey, you have just one face. Show that one to the world. And I thought the only purpose we dogs had in our life was to eat-bark-sleep-mate…

Mummy Dog: You take everything as a joke. See, my cousin who was sold to Mrs. Malhotra  was telling me about this huge, hairy, handsome pup in her locality. And what more? He is from our caste itself!

Papa Dog: And where is this “Mrs. Malhotra’s locality”?

Mummy Dog: just some 5-6 cities away. It’s a very posh locality. Our daughter would be a queen there…

Just then, Puppy dog enters, with the airs of a grown-up girl(not using the word for female-dog, as it sounds offending), with a pack of 4 of her friends

Puppy Dog: Who’s the queen mama?

MD: You, who else? (stares disgustingly at her friends, both male and female. The friends wave goodbye and leave)

PupD: Mama, why do you always behave like this with my friends?

MD: See dear, you should realize that you are of a very high pedigree. Our origin is the most holy, most pure. It doesn’t seem right that you roam around with these road-side dogs whose origin they themselves don’t know of

PupD: Mama what pedigree you talk about. Our ancestors “used to be” the pets of the President of the colony. But now even we live in this shack at the roadside. Its just a stone’s throw away from all their homes.

MD: These girls… you let them roam around the colony, and they think they have seen the world. No consideration for our caste/creed/culture blah blah blah… and those friends of yours… I especially don’t like that guy “Rodeo”. You are grown up now, its high time you stop roaming around shamelessly with guys. We have found one nice match for you. remember my cousin which was sold to Mrs Malhotra? Blah blah huge, hairy, handsome blah

PupD: Oh mama, I don’t even know this lady you are talking about. And 5-6 cities away? Are you crazy? I don’t even know that dog. How can I spend my life with him?

MD: you don’t have to know anyone to spend your life with them.

PupD: but he is miles away, how can I start getting attracted to him without even meeting him?

MD: that wont be an issue. Attraction will come with time

PupD: See mama, all these talks about pedigree and all, it doesn’t sound natural. Moreover, I like Rodeo. He is so much fun to be with. We hunt for food together, we chase bikes together, we hang out together all the time, and we know each other inside out.

MD (totally agitated): Girl (again not using female-dog), that s*o*b (literally) will ruin your life. He doesn’t have any culture. I always see him roaming around hunting for food. He has no qualms even for eating from that garbage area. No sense of “purity”. Our caste only eats what is offered to us by Mrs. Panicker and Mrs. Sharma. We don’t touch any dirty food. We would die but not go out “hunting” for food.

PupD: this is all crap mom. What those ladies feed you is 3-days old rotten food. You don’t know what you are missing. That dhaba around the corner, that waiter gives us such yummy bread which you wouldn’t have tasted ever. And that butcher shop in the next lane, we get such succulent bones there. You need to see the world mom… this is life.. this is..

MD: Stop it. I don’t want to hear a word of this blasphemy. You will realize our concern only when you become a mom…

 

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NOM to anyone, and if "dogs" are not your favorite animals, you can replace it with any other animal of your choice.. "Penguins" for instance (why penguins, some might ask. Well, in animal kingdom, they mate for life, like what is expected of us humans).

My point here is that man is also an animal, with much more intelligence. Then why do we have to be slaves of the concept of arranged marriages? For some, the idea of parents arranging for the marriage might click pretty well(like in my own case), but to force it down your son or daughter’s neck, like it’s the only life saving drug for him/her,  just because of the complex caste culture we follow, is totally stupid. Isn't it against nature? When we reach marriageable age, it is assumed we can take care of a “family”. Then why cant people choose with “whom” to start the family, despite being around a quarter century old?

Can creator's will supersede the owner's will?

Walking past the manicured garden, with monochrome grass and recently- trimmed bushes with contrasting flowers growing and glowing in morning dew- my attention fluttered for a moment and sat on a small white lily- beautiful as ever, in serene white and pink… nothing unusual with it except for the fact that it was growing right next to the pavement, on an otherwise empty patch of grass – not where it is usually supposed to grow. A carelessly dropped seed perhaps,  or a whiff of wind carried it away and planted it where it was now…

Appreciated, admired, but, will it survive the next morning? Will it survive the sharp investigating eyes of the gardener who is instructed to keep the garden free of any “weeds”? Of course it is no weed- God’s exquisite creation, it might even be an “imported variety” of lily, but it grew where it was not supposed to, blossomed away from the likes of its own tribe… it might be as beautiful as any other flower of its kind, but would never receive the same attention and care as the ones growing in allotted bushes… in fact, soon enough it would be de-rooted…

Can the creator’s will supersede the owner’s will?

Krantilal Godbole found?

·          When my brother doesn’t turn up home on time,  and his phone doesn’t connect, mom calls me up to flash a message on his wall to contact home immediately

·         Middle of the night, I want to meet my new-born nephew, who is in the other end of the world currently. I open my fb, and there he is-I can even see him taking his first steps!

·         A cousin has recently released a magazine as a sub-editor. I never knew she was so talented! Heck, I was hardly in touch with her to know any better!

·         Old classmates- married, settled in various professions, and some of them even seen with their little ones!

Till last month, I was blissfully unaware of this entire parallel universe which was just a click away from me, yet, I chose to ignore, just because of the hype it had acquired. And may be because I was not comfortable with the fact that everyone- EVERYONE was out there to keep an eye on everything. I mean, when I go hang out with a group of friends, would I be comfortable sharing the pics online knowing somewhere my dad is also in the same space? When you have parallel, and often completely contrasting personalities when you are with friends or family or acquaintances, there are very fine lines of code of conduct to follow… Well, that age, that time, when I preferred maintaining  no other online identity than my office mail id.

Now I realize I had missed far more than just “being in touch with old friends”. And now I realize that “socializing” is not just some extra baggage that you have to carry, but a beautiful experience where I see all my loved ones sharing their piece of life with me, and deep down I know, I am so happy to be a part of it, a part of them…

To Papa, with love.

"rishvat dena to khud papa ne sikhaya"- the lines from 3 idiots which resonate the minds of my confused generation, and in that, when I talk about ethics, morals and principles, people around think I am either from pre-historic age, or having an agenda to start a new fast like Baba or Anna. "you dont understand Meenal, it is all very good in books, but in this age, you have to be practical"- they tell me. Practical- thats precisely what I am, cause probably they havent met any person who walks his talk or has survived the vagaries of this society following his beliefs.

I have. And I have seen him with his struggle all my life- every single day... My Dad, my Hero- he has lived his life on his principles, braving all the pressures- big and small. He taught both his kids to "Do something about it" if we believe in something, and not listen to anyone who says "thoda to compromise karna padta hai na, itna to chalta hai na". He taught us to have a heart big enough to feel others' suffering, but at the same time, never to be a fool and be angry when we should.

He is one person who showed me the real meaning of "One life, make it large". Ofcourse there were hard times- the toughest ones probably when he had to choose between his family and his principles. Ofcourse he chose the latter, and ofcourse, we love him for that.

And ofcourse there are ideological differences betwen us- he is of Gandhian school of thought, I am, well, (lets leave it at that). And we often have arguments. I am not quite sure if he even agrees about this way of showing my affection to him, on a public forum. But if there is one learning which he has grilled in my mind forever- is to follow what you believe in, and not care about anyone who fails to prove otherwise :)

We love you papa- and because of you, both of your kids dont need any other "idol" to follow.
Wish you a very happy fathers day.
And I hope you read this

Dream a little dream

Do you remember your dreams when you wake up? In case you do, do you have a recurring dream- one which is associated with a particular instance of your past, and now keeps coming back, and you feel so helplessly trapped in that figment of time that even if you know that it is just a dream, you are not able to come out of it…

I keep getting such a dream- and it sounds silly to say that I keep dreaming of my time in college- that I have bunked quite many classes, and now am frantically trying to remember what to write in the C++ exam paper…  and almost always, the dream ends with my roommate scolding me on why I keep neglecting my studies and how it will affect my placements (!!)…

Needless to say, it is scary and when I wake up, I am all drenched in sweat and glad to have woken up- it feels so real- the fright, the tension, and Priyanka’s scoldings…

When I talked to my husband about it, he told me he gets similar dreams(though he doesn’t remember much of his dreams) of the time when he was in 4^th std. My Mom gets dreams of her 10^th std Math paper! Just to imagine- she, well settled in her life with her kids all grown up, and she keeps waking up from Math scares from her past!

It is like a part of our soul is still stuck in that time wrap, and comes to haunt us when we are in our deepest slumber… Or like they say in horror movies- there is still something left undone at that time, and will linger on till it is led to completion… but how?

The kiddie and the spider in heaven

He (a 2yr-something kid): Mom!! Mommy!! look- a spider!!
Mom: hold on, I've got it
He- amazed at the speed at which Mom fetches a slipper and manages to hit the spider, which, by now, is all curled up, waiting to die
He: Mummy, now what will happen to this thing?
Mom: beta, it'll now go to the house of God
He(still staring intently at the creature): But how will she go? you've broken all its legs, how will it walk till there now?

There is this small incident which is associated with my brother's childhood that makes me wonder - how vivid the imagination of kids could be...

Ram - Lila?

Remember the times when we were small kids, and once in a while, we would hear about some "interesting" stuff happening at the nearby "Ramlila maidan"(huge grounds)- wherein we would get to see "Gods" dancing and entertaining in funny attires, and we would clap, howl, sing and finally go back home feeling we had salvaged our lives by watching "Gods" live!

Now, we hear similar stuff- of Yoga gurus dressed up in funny female attires, promising you salvage from the evil-doers in your government,  you hear him, clap, pray, and think someone has finally come to rescue you...

But frankly, my dear, I dont give a damn... am tired of people promising dramatic changes in the rampant corruption in the largest democracy that my coutry has.

Baba, I do believe that you can salvage this over-weight country with your yoga-tactics. But corruption, politics, conspiracies? you have a non-believer in me...

War of sexes? Nonsense

Disclaimer: This write-up does not take up responsibility to convince those feminists who want to debate on the topic just for the sake of debating. The writer is open for any constructive CnC.

Somehow, I just cannot relate to the debate of women Vs men, despite being a woman. Before proceeding further, let me clarify- I strongly support the cause of “Women EMPOWERMENT”, and my blood boils when I see atrocities against women. Empowerment means to be able to resist subjugation, and to improve upon one’s capabilities. That doesn’t mean being a lion you want to be an elephant. And I don’t understand why this should lead to a perennial “COMPETITION” between men and women.

When I was in school, we girls used to fight with boys a lot. “All guys are spoilt” and “All girls are dumb”- who would not relate with these slogans in their school life? But that was it. We all grow up and we do realize that we (men and women) are in fact made differently. And nature is not dumb. Everything happens for a purpose. And there is a purpose behind not making man and woman alike. Again I repeat, it is not that women are weak or are inferior, just that the two sexes are made to complement each other, not to compete.

 IMO there are certain areas of responsibilities which are specific to women folk, and the same goes with men. Even in animal kingdom, you’ll find specific AOR among sexes. The lioness goes for hunting, while the lion takes care of the cub (source: wiki).

In humans, parenting, hospitality, nursing- these areas are where women can do fabulous job. I always felt weird when I saw guys in place of the smiling face of an airhostess. Likewise I always felt weird when I saw a lady truck-driver for instance (no, not because women are considered horrible drivers, but because it is way too strenuous for them).  Apart from these exclusive roles, there are other areas where man and woman can take up responsibilities equally well, the software field for instance.

So why can’t we accept this fact that we(both men and women) are made differently, and feel proud about it, instead of trying to become something which nature hasn’t made us? We girls want to BE like boys, want to LIVE like boys, and love to be even CALLED tom-boyish. One 12-year old girl I know of still talks like “khaunga, aunga, baithunga, jaunga” etc. (sorry to non-Hindi speaking people), because her parents wanted to bring her up like a “guy”. I shudder at the thought of what effect it is going to have on her psyche once she realizes she’s a woman. Doing that just reflects how insecure we are with our own identity. I would never want my daughter (if I have one) to be brought up like a guy. I would make sure she feels proud in being the most beautiful specie on Earth while realizing that she is not inferior to anyone else. We’ll be much more at peace if we just comprehend our capabilities and the power (may not be physical one) nature has bestowed on us. Being otherwise would just disrupt the balance-nature or our own.

Let peace and sense prevail

Caste no bar

 >> Disclaimer: This post doesnt necessarily depict real people and true incidents. No offence intended to any community, or any person<<

Me: But they’ll be happy with only a Brahmin guy Uncle L that too a Marwadi Brahmin.

Him: But why Beta?

Me: Why “Why” Uncle? The same old boring talks of “We-the Brahmins”, and “You- the obedient, cultured daughter of the family” stuff.

Him: No, I meant, why are they searching for a “Brahmin”  guy for a “Shudra”  girl?

Me(Baffled): A “Shudra”?? ME? How?

Him: Well, As you must be aware, the entire caste system is based on one’s area of work. And you Software guys do, what? provide “Services”?

Me: Hmmm…

Him: So, you fall under the category of “skilled workers”. That makes you a “Shudra”, technically

Me(shocked): Oopsie! That’s a twist in my life! My dad works in a bank, so by birth, I am a “Vaish”, the business-class people. But I do not exactly do the work of an SE, rather, teach. Even my department name is “Education and Research”! So that means… I am still a BRAHMIN!

One of my friend working on cyber security project:  And so I become a “Kshatriya”! The fighters!

Now this is something interesting. Waiting to tell it to my Grandmom :D and see her reactions to it J

Whats in a name

>> A series of older posts from my intra-infy blog<<

What is there in a name- this sparked an unexpected reaction in me when I got a comment like this for my last blog. Whoever said this (I heard Shakespeare, but then I also heard that Shakespeare’s works were not original, they were of one of his friends), had probably never imagined the importance of a name in a person’s life. Ask this to a guy who is named “Tappu” by his parents. Or worse, “Pinky”.  Or Chandeler(“That spells something like a chandelier, but its not that”(from FRIENDS). Or those names which are so difficult to pronounce or spell that the kid with those names would dread being asked his name in his initial years.. like “Kushagra” or “Dhritharashtra”(from Mahabharata. What exactly were his parents thinking?) or Phoebe(again, no-fans of FRIENDS please excuse). Or those people who have such common names that they have to prefix it with numbers or other crazy things to distinguish themselves ( like Rahul. In my class, there were 6 Rahuls, and we identified them as Rahul01, tall Rahul, Mokkai Rahul,  Divya’s Rahul and so on). Or they give them names which have such crazy meaning that either they pretend they don’t know, or give it some twisted meaning of their own (Like my name- “Meenal”. It means “fish like”, which, on looking closely, also means “fishy”). I remember one of my non-Hindi speaking friend asking me “that new girl downstairs, her name is Payal. What does that mean?” to which I promptly replied “It means anklet”. She gave me a look which I can never forget “why would someone name a person ‘anklet’??”.. . I was speechless.

Or the Bard never imagined the state of a girl